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A flushed yuppie wearing a well ironed shirt suddenly approaches almost threateningly, holding six boxes of Michael Kors’ shoes! ‘Excuse me’, he says ‘what size are you?’ ‘6’ I answer,‘Perfect; I bought these for this girl…’ he mumbled and pointed to the treasure he had in his hands; ‘She said she would meet me here; it’s been ages and she hasn’t turned up. I’d be glad if you had them; someone I don’t even know might appreciate them more…’

The great thing about the London Fashion Weekend is that you don’t need any particular pass to make your way through; all you have to do is get your ticket online at londonfashionweek.co.uk or by calling 0871 230 1558. You can buy their limited edition bag (this year designed by Eley Kishimoto), watch catwalk shows, chill at the Club Lounge with a glass of champagne or simply do some shopping. You can choose pieces from over 120 designers from this year’s and last year’s collections. Items that made their debut travails on the catwalk are now available at up to 70% below their original value. From flamboyant Galliano brocade cardigans for £300 (from £800), Moschino leather gloves for £60 (from £200), glasses by Matthew Williamson for £100 to plastic pop accessories from Anna Lou of London and laid back sweatshirts by American Retro.

The place is packed with the delirious hoi polloi blocking your path while trying to sample gossamer knits by Maison Margiela (£200 from £480) as well as fashion aficionados who have not even finished school, punk rock types beamed in from Brick Lane to super posh Somerset House overnight, skinny hipsters, chic mums loaded with pearls, their equally chic girlfriends and daughters, the daughters of their girlfriends …

You end up laden with bags and bags as the English play the smart game of “buy one get one free” or even “buy 3 – get another 3 for free” so that you go to pick up an item of make-up from Elizabeth Arden and leave with the whole beauty case.

The most beautiful boots, however, were to be found on someone who I followed to the toilet in order to extract the information that she found them in Primark. It just goes to show that style does not depend directly on who made it. I’m already thinking about the next one though…

P.S. The guy spent another hour answering messages from his Blackberry. Unfortunately for him, holding all of the bags he went on a random bus journey and disappeared … (unfortunately for me).